Paranoid

Why am I so paranoid?
Do I really don't have enough trust on a person?
Or is it just my personality?

I really hate it.. i really hate the fact that i get paranoid so easily..

In a given situation, I would think about all the possible (usually bad possibilities) things that can happen to me.

It gets worse in a relationship.

What's wrong with me?
I really don't like me being paranoid... I feel like I am a psycho or something...

Maybe I don't have self-confidence..
well.. i am short.. got no nice body.. have accent.. still in school.. getting old... ye... i dont have any self-confidence

maybe.. when i was being paranoid about something.. it shouldn't have really happend

while i was dating haeri, i was paranoid about haeri going for someone who's taller and better looking
which later happend

Sandra Lee broke up with me, saying she didn't have feeling for me anymore. Of course, a paranoid boyfriend i was, i mentioned about Patrick.. then Sandra denied, and swore that she would "never go out with Patrick" (haha never say never~~) but look what happend.. she's going out with Patrick.
Even if she was telling the truth while she was breaking up with me... it still made me feel like crap

maybe, it's genetic
my mom is usually paranoid.. about me and government
one small story from sauna or newspaper will haunt me down for loooooooooong time

"oh son, i heard about random search for illegal immigrants in Ktown restaurants at night.. don't go out at night ok?"

i mean.. common!!!!!

sigh...

all the worries gotta go
let me work at it